8.06.2013

2 First Date Questions That I Really Hate

I've been on quite a few* dates lately. This would maybe be exciting if I was interested in any of these guys... but alas, I am not. I've had some fun though, and dating is all about getting to know people better which I definitely have been doing.  Every guy can't be the right guy, or that would be chaos.

Through the process of dating, I have noticed that there are some questions that are always asked on first or second dates. They're kind of boring and repetitive, but they need to be asked and I get that. You can't get into the deep stuff until you know the basics. There are two that I have really come to hate, though, and they are as follows:

What is your favorite type of music?/Who is your favorite artist or band?
I hate this question because my answer seems to be unsatisfactory to most people. But the honest truth is that I really like all types of music, excluding hardcore rap and screamo, and dubstep is something I'm stilling mulling over. I also have lots of favorite artists. When I say this, I get a look that I can best describe as annoyed disbelief. Then, because of this reaction (every. time.), I get all flustered and am unable to explain myself adequately. If you were to look at my music library, you would understand. I like everything, ie: Backstreet Boys, Michael Jackson, Ryan Innes, Ingrid Michaelson, Ben Folds, Van Halen, Rascal Flatts, Jonas Brothers, Billy Joel, Yellowcard, Donny Osmond, etc. Honestly, if you show it to me, I'll probably like it. But for some reason males just cannot handle that. I must have at least one band that I listen to more than any other, mustn't I?? Nope. I really, really don't. The most I can say is I go through phases of listening to some stuff more than others. Is that so hard to believe?

What are your hobbies/interests/what do you do you in your spare time?
I dislike this one because it makes me feel boring and cliche. While I feel like I'm an interesting person and legitimately enjoy my life, my answers here also seem to prompt males to file me away in the "dud" category. My honest answer is this: For starters, I like watching movies, reading, and running. I also legitimately love card games, swings, and watching football.  I'm not an outdoorsy person, though I will go for a hike every so often, and I love nature. I have also been rock climbing and wouldn't mind going again. Another thing - I'm not sporty in the slightest, which seems to be especially difficult for males to grasp. I don't play any sports. Really. None. I wasn't even on one of those soccer or T-Ball teams as a kid. I am, however, willing to do whatever as long as I'm with a person I enjoy or care for. So, if a guy desperately wants me to play soccer with him, I'll do it. I'll probably spend more time running away from the ball than actually trying to kick it, but I'll try it. I'll even enjoy it despite the fact that I look like a fool!  I guess the hardest part about this question for me is that I'm just not a person that has many dictionary-defined "hobbies". Is that so bad? I don't think so. It's just hard to convey for some reason.

After writing this all out I've come to a few conclusions. First of all, this was a lot more rant-y than I originally intended. Oopsie. Guess I had stronger feelings than I thought. Secondly, I feel that many guys are so desperately trying to put a label on me that when I can't definitively put myself under certain categories (ie, hipster, artsy, sporty, etc) it leaves them confused. I'm definitely guilty of doing the same sometimes, but let's be honest, that's just plain silly. And finally, I feel like the crux of the matter is that I just need to have more confidence in myself. What's really important is that I'm being honest, but I need to portray my honesty courageously rather than steeling myself for the inevitable eyeroll or the awkward "uhhh, well... that's... cool, I guess". I need to be unashamedly me. And if a guy can't handle that, then he's not worth my time anyway.

Phew! Did that make me sound pretentious or what? ;) Happy Tuesday!

*"Quite a few" means like 5. The whole summer.

2 comments:

Erin Southworth said...

Ha! it's cuz guys are so straightforward. They usually fall into a single category-style, music, hobbies, etc. They like what they like and they stick to it. I feel like some days I want to dress hipster and some days I want to dress super girly. Same goes with everything else. Bryson is the same all the time. So I totes get where you are coming from. Haha.

My name is Lydia said...

Oh my gosh that's one of my biggest pet peeves - how guys are all bummed or confused when you say you're not sportsy. what if girls were like... hello? do you like shopping? no? OMG WHY NOT YOU'RE CONFUSING! Anyway I hear ya, girl!